A Remembrance of Laura Weitzel Popko
by David A. Popko

Many years ago as my wife and I planned our wedding, the DJ asked us both to individually write a brief story of how we met. He told us not to collaborate nor to read each other’s story but instead, when they were complete, to turn them into him separately and he would assemble a composite to read to our guests at the reception.

Well after our wedding, he admitted to us that our stories were very similar to each other which is usually not the case. In this instance we had each had a slightly different focus on what we described but his composite of the result surprised us as well as our guests.

At the reception, after he had introduced the wedding party to all of our guests, he had us both come forward and take a seat front and center as he read the story. He prompted our guests to vocalize with any ooohs or ahhhs or appropriate exclamations as he read the composite. His opening line was one that drew the greatest response from all of our guests. He said “David and Laura like to tell people that they met in bed!” After the commotion settled he went on to clarify that Laura was in bed at the time recovering from a surgery and I was sitting on my bed 40 miles away on my computer. Keep in mind that this was a time when the Internet was not yet open for public use. We were communicating in the most rudimentary analog fashion using slow speed dial-up modems connected to a medium called a bulletin board service.

As it was, neither Laura nor I had been looking to meet anyone with the intent of dating at that time. In those early days there was no such thing as computer dating services. I was taking a college class that introduced the first early forms of computer communications capabilities and had specific assignments where homework needed to be submitted to the instructor remotely from each participant’s computer. Laura had coincidentally been introduced to the same electronic bulletin board communications service that I was using and was chatting with other bulletin board members throughout the West Coast as she was recovering from major back surgery that had her bedridden for months. Our meeting might never have occurred but for a 17-year-old computer enthusiast who quite coincidentally engaged us both in online communications.

Within weeks both Laura and I found ourselves spending considerable time chatting online and eventually speaking with each other by phone, often for hours each day. Within months we had shared virtually everything there was to talk about in the way of our backgrounds, interests, moral viewpoints and virtually all aspects of who we each individually were in simply being ourselves. Finally, after months of recovery, Laura had progressed to the point where she was able to get around up to 4 to 6 hours at a time out of bed. The long-awaited face-to-face meeting took place at her doorstep where after a short while we ventured to a local restaurant for a meal. Originally as I was driving to Irvine, I had thought to myself that this journey was not one I want to repeat regularly so we would probably continue meeting online and on the phone thereafter. As it turned out, however, for the next few months we barely missed a weekend that we did not share together. Months later on November 11, a date with special meaning for Laura, one year from the day we first met face to face we were married.

Now there is at least one more interesting catch to this… We planned a relatively large event which included relatives flying in from the East Coast, Northern California, Oregon and even Canada. We wanted to as best as possible accommodate our guests including providing some overnight facilities the day before and after our event at no expense to our out-of-town visitors. We were fortunate enough to secure a church retreat including 14 guest rooms for a weekend from Friday through Sunday. The grounds included a huge central courtyard of flower gardens, running fountains and meandering cobblestone paths throughout and surrounding the facility as well as a small woodside pond. It was everything within one package—a Chapel with the minister we selected, the reception facility to accommodate all of our guests, a fully catered meal service with adequate servers and staff and overnight facilities at a beautiful location that everyone could enjoy. Even those not staying in the provided rooms could wander the facility and enjoy the venue as they wished.

So… where’s the catch? Well, there are actually two parts to that. That particular year had November 11th on a Thursday which did not fit our weekend venue. It was, however, important to both of us to be married on the 11th. The second catch that we didn’t at first recognize was that, being Veterans Day, the courts and most public facilities where we could officially tie the knot prior to the formal ceremony would all be closed. In a manner of haste and other coincidence, it turned out that a coworker of Laura’s was an officially ordained minister— even though that was one of those “send away and pay” certifications, it was nonetheless legally binding. Laura and I and her maid of honor and my best man gathered at the gazebo on a local community lake just before sunset on November 11 to of officialize the service. Little did most of our guests know until after-the-fact, that we were already married before the formal ceremony two days later.

A lot of time has passed since then. Laura and I have had a wonderful life together and shared some magnificent times. That includes an especially magical 10th anniversary celebration with a cruise to Alaska and an inland journey and tour to Fairbanks and Denali National Park on the glass-top railway. Laura’s special surprise to me on that trip was having booked us first class air travel to Canada and the once-in-a-lifetime luxurious indulgence of being in multi-room suite number one on the cruise ship inclusive of a dining room for eight, an in-suite private spa in its own room, an oversized private outside patio roomy enough for a dozen guests, a huge living room, separate bedroom and a complete private kitchen. Our valet was exclusive only to us and the much-smaller suite number two so he was always available for anything we needed. We also had a private tour—just the two of us and our tour guide for an entire day to see the sights between Anchorage and Fairbanks. And, we got to see a spectacular display of the northern lights while in Fairbanks.

But that I’d have the time and the reader would have the endurance to hear of so many other wonderful events including our tour to the East Coast and visiting my family home on the Chesapeake Bay…

Some years ago Laura suddenly encountered an abrupt and very strange illness. Seemingly overnight she became lethargic and incurred some very odd symptoms. She could sluggishly explain what she wanted to do such as change a channel on the TV or call someone on the phone but she could not remember how to operate the remote control or the phone itself. Paramedics first transported her to a trauma center believing she may have incurred a head injury (she had fallen hard during the initial onset) or perhaps a stroke, however, tests indicated that there was no evidence of that. Within hours all of her organs were shutting down and they transferred her to UCI Medical Center where, over a 14 hour period, 11 teams of specialists tried to determine what was wrong as she became more critical. Almost worthy of an episode of “House”, a first-year medical student on one of the teams suggested that the symptoms were exactly those of TTP that she had just studied.

TTP (Thrombotic Thrombocytopenic Purpura) is a disease of the blood where clots form around cells in the body. In particular, it especially attacks the brain and the kidneys. As few as 10 years earlier there was no cure for the disease and it had a 97% mortality rate within 96 hours of onset. Doctors rapidly confirmed the diagnosis and immediately placed her on both dialysis (her kidneys had shut down) and plasma pheresis. The latter process removes all of the plasma portions of the blood while replacing that with donor plasma. Very rapidly Laura improved and within a few days was able to return home. Unfortunately, the disease had severely damaged her kidneys and although she did not need to remain on dialysis at the time, continued degradation would eventually, within a few years, lead to her needing to be on dialysis three days out of each seven.

Laura encountered a host of other medical issues, in part as a result of decreased kidney functions. She retired from the University of California, Irvine after 36 years of service. As a software engineer, my employer graciously allowed me to work from home at least four days a week even though my office was only 8 miles away. That allowed me to keep an eye on her and help out with anything she needed even though she was usually mobile and doing mostly okay around the house.

Unfortunately, in mid-2016, Laura’s health deteriorated. By 2017, cardiac issues developed which not only significantly increased her chance of having a stroke (which she greatly feared) but also excluded any significant surgeries such as the kidney transplant that she had been waiting on for years. In July 2017 after extensive discussions with her doctors and family, Laura made the informed decision to stop dialysis and transition to a very brief period of hospice care. The decision gave her the opportunity for friends and relatives to visit with her to say goodbye while she was still well enough to do so. After just days, Laura passed away peacefully at home on August 7, 2017 just months short of our 24th anniversary. At Laura’s request there was no funeral and no public notice of her passing. She wanted both her family and friends to remember her as she was when she was well.

From the memories that Laura shared with me of the early days in Rolling Hills and her love of horseback riding in that area, I know that she would have wanted to attend her reunion if it were possible to do so. I’m sure that she would’ve loved to have shared so many more pleasant memories of her life here and of her joy of being married. She was a wonderful and loving wife who I miss dearly.